# Friend dating your ex

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Your relationship and theirs are separate things, and you don't need to know anything they don't care to tell you. You don't' have to be overly friendly to your ex and your friend. He or she could be doing this to you to act out his or her passive aggressive anger. It's going to hurt even if you say all the nice things you should say — that you're still going to be his friend, that you're going to try not to Instagram this girl obsessively, etc.\
&#x20;![friend dating your ex](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/aguidetodatingyourexsbestfriend-150330230253-conversion-gate01/95/a-guide-to-dating-your-exs-best-friend-or-sister-2-638.jpg?cb=1427774605)\\

Call the ones you prime are your true friends. This is an extended metaphor for your ex, BTW. I'm so so sorry. It's difficult to meet people you're romantically interested in beyond an already-defined circle, and outside of your city's queer scene, most people you run into are likely to be straight. If that doesn't get your lucifer limp, I don't know what will. I asked one of my male friends about this, and he said that if all parties involved respect one another, a simple conversation needs to occur. Over the last couple of weeks, I've been hanging out with a close friend's ex-girlfriend, platonically, after we ran into each other at Starbucks.

Email the Dating Nerd at. I am so sorry your best friend is dating your ex.\
&#x20;![friend dating your ex](http://cdn.quotesgram.com/img/92/58/179775180-How-To-Get-Your-Ex-Boyfriend-Back.png)\\

**Is it OK for a friend to date your ex?** - Don't try to keep your boyfriend and your bud from associating because you're afraid they still have feelings for each other, and don't constantly seek reassurance that that's not the case.\
&#x20;![friend dating your ex](https://pics.me.me/when-your-best-friend-starts-texting-her-ex-again-scouse-ma-25055812.png)\\

The is a shadowy figure whose whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown. What we do know is that he is really, really good at dating. He's been on more dates than you can shake a lengthy bar tab at, and he's here to help the average guy step his dating game up a notch — or several. The Question Hi Dating Nerd, I'm in a pickle. Over the last couple of weeks, I've been hanging out with a close friend's ex-girlfriend, platonically, after we ran into each other at Starbucks. We have a real connection. I can't stop thinking about her. I'm kind of obsessed. And I think she wants to take it to the next level, too. The problem is, my friend had a deep relationship with this girl, and I think he's still kind of in love with her. So what do I do here? Can I get away with dating my friend's ex? Will he be able to handle this? Which is that people never really get over significant romantic relationships. I don't mean that you can never be happy again after breaking up with someone. Of course you can. But it's largely a matter of compartmentalizing. You get a new and even prettier girlfriend, or hang out with your friends more, or get into jiu jitsu or knitting. You get a new life so you don't spend all your time sitting around and crying about your old one like the baby you are. All of those old wounds stick around, just waiting to be re-opened. You're always going to feel weird when you see your ex, at least a little bit. If you're still , it wasn't that serious, or it's still serious. And, if you date your friends' ex, you're telling your friend that your romantic feelings are more important than their happiness. Because they're going to see you holding hands with their ex, and remember how nice that felt, and if you think they won't envision you having sex together, you're being naive. Of course, that's going to hurt. Inherently, it's a selfish thing. Does this mean you should never, ever date a friend's ex? It's possible that you've got an uncommon romance on your hands. Maybe this is your future wife, or muse, or whatever it is that you're looking for. If this is the case, you'd be missing out on years of potential passion if you passed up on this girl for the sake of sparing your friends' feelings. Like I said, this is a tough one. You've got a hell of a decision to make. Accordingly, you should treat this like any other important decision, which is to say that you should get as much information as possible. First, be real with yourself. Is this girl really special to you? Is there actually an uncommon reaction between you — some sort of deep compatibility that's worth alienating your friend for? Or is she just an attractive person who finds you attractive, too? Those two things are so, so easily confused. Approach these questions with the maximum possible skepticism about yourself. If you feel fluttery every time you talk to a pretty girl, keep that in mind. If you're currently lonely and you really need to get laid, consider that maybe you're just desperate. And dwell on the fact that some of your excitement might just come from the taboo nature of this potential relationship, because, like everyone else, you want what's off-limits. If I were a betting man, I'd bet that your crush on this girl is just like any other crush. It's a fun illusion, which, if pursued, might reveal a great relationship, or might not. Odds are, that's what this is, in which case you should probably just sigh, move on, and hit up your of choice, where you can find lots of other crush-worthy women. I found out about this the hard way, in a similar situation. Tom, one of my childhood friends, was always kind of bummed out, until he met Josie, a fast-talking, high-energy woman who brought him out of his shell. They had a sparkling relationship — they were one of those couples that just radiated warm, gooey, nauseating passion — and I was super envious of it. Also, obviously, Josie was an outrageously foxy person: one of those girls where it feels like your eyeballs are being manipulated. There was only one weird thing about her, which is that I would occasionally catch her looking at me a little funny. I suspected that she had a low-key crush on me. About a year after she dumped Tom abruptly, leaving him a sniveling wreck, I discovered that I was correct. We ran into each other at a party. In the end, I got about five dates out of it, in exchange for an irreparably ruined friendship. Tom found out, and he never forgave me. Now, if you're sure that this is not you, that this is Real Love you're looking at, then what you have to do is tell your friend what's up. Tell your friend about your intentions, and ask him if there's any way you can make the process easier for him. This conversation will not go well. Because, again, you're declaring to an old friend that you're prepared to disregard his feelings. That's the truth of the situation. There's no two ways about it. It's going to hurt even if you say all the nice things you should say — that you're still going to be his friend, that you're going to try not to Instagram this girl obsessively, etc. Ultimately, dating a friend's ex is inadvisable. But sometimes, you have to do inadvisable things for love. Think you could use some dating help, too? Email the Dating Nerd at.
